is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
