I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
