The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
