I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
