Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
