sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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