Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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