oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
