Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
