Sponge bath it is.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
