dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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