If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
