I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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