So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
