I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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