I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
