Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
