i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
