I'm sorry my penis didn't work
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
