Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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