The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
