Don't make out with my wife yet
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
