i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
