What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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