She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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