you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
