Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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