For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I love you.
Bad choice
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
