there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
