So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
