You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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