guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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