So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
