Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
