with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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