I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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