so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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