Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
