I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
