Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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