After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
