We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
