pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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