Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
