I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
