the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
