you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
