Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
