I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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