My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
