It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
